Four days ago, I woke up the usual time, expecting a lot of "shi shi" as what my son, AJ is calling it. Dumiretso ako sa cr, pupungas pungas, punas ng mga laway sa gilid ng labi na natuyo dahil sa magdamagang paghilik, (yuckieee) hehehehe.. I then sat on the throne and do my usual routine. Brush ng teeth, konting pahinga then naligo na. Ginising ko na mag ina ko and they were both trying hard to wake up from the bed. Ayaw pa magising. Kya i continue to dress up dahil me pasok pa. Its monday morning I guess. Then suddenly napansin ko, I wasnt having the same focus when staring to something, and when Im inclined towards the left, it doubles, really double and it was like the same image was 2 feet away from each other. I rubbed my eyes repeatedly, tightly holding my breath, and I slowly open my right eye.. phewww.. its normal... i closed the right eye and i began to open my left.. what a relief... its normal.. no double vision.. hayyy salamat sa...WHATTTTHEE F..." i almost screamed my lungs out.. there it was.. two beds, two wives, two sons..."shit shit..." Di ko tlga alam gagawin ko.. i repeatedly rub my eyes and repeatedly calling my wife... "hon, ano nangyayari? hon ano nangyayari?" sabi ng asawa ko.. I calm myself and told her.. I was having double vision. And I opened both eyes.. there it is.. still.. but rather than panic.. I kept my cool.. "It will be soon over, it will be over"

After an hour of preparation, having breakfast together, I forgot the whole thing and I am happy that it will not be affecting my daily routines. I then went out and clean my Akira. Akira was fine, no dents, no vandals on her body covered mostly by dust and sands. Oh she was fine and so beautiful. A black beauty. Then come the mother and son. Both were carrying bags, so then I drive. Dropping my son to his school and my wife to work. Alone in Shk Zayed again... Its the road where me and Akira spends a lot of time together. Boasting my collection of mp3s,, (hehehehehe) we were listening to same music for the last few weeks, "Another summer day, is come and gone away, in Paris and Rome But i wanna go home....hmmmmm"

when I reached DAFZA, i had a slight headache, maybe because of preposterously thinking of what may be lying in my table again.. im sure its gonna be a long long day.. pagtuntong ko pa lang sa pinto.. there it go again.. naduduling n nman ako.. "shit" i forced myself to my chair and there I began to think. The deepest thinking 'maybe' that i had made for a very long time.. Rubbing both the top of my eyebrows and sides of my head.. i didnt stop to pray... "lord ano po tong binigay mo sa kin?" "bkit po?' and right there and then... i stopped. sabi ko, ngayon lng n nman ako nakapagdasal dahil sa kelangan ko n nman sya. tinawag ko na nman sya pra lang sisihin sa nangyari sa akin. hayyy buhay.. samantalang pag masarap ang buhay at lahat ni hindi man lang matawag ang pangalan nya. whew..pero i really make sure na mapapsalamatan ko sya sa mga biyayang binibigay nya. that im really sure. pati nga anak ko alam magpa thank you. i got up slowly then i walked towards my boss' table. But unfortunately, he asked me to do all the pending jobs.. well dahil sa gusto ko din nman yon kya i forced myself. khit naduduling na ako.. sige lang ng sige.. kya pa nman eh. hours past... and ding.. 5.30 na.. di ko pa time umuwi. hehehehe 6.30 kasi ako. pero tlgang di ko na kya.. sabi ko uuwi na din ako. bka di ko na makaya pang mag drive.. buti n lng magaling si Akira.. di nya ako pinabayaan.

I picked up my wife safely and we had a nice dinner together. khit na naduduling na ako. then sabi ko i will not be working for maybe couple of days dahil sa nararamdaman ko.

The next morning.. ayon I had visited two different opthalmologist, and they both share the same conclusion... a "6th cranial nerve palsy" Hayy nabuhayan ako ng loob kahit pano dahil sabi nila temporary lang daw yon.. After 6 weeks average e magse self heal lang daw...un ay kung un nga yon. What if iba? What if tumor? I begin to push my panic button again... hayyyyyyyy... ano ba to? wla bang katapusan? I then went home "laylay ang balikat" at wlang idea kung ano ang nangyayari sa sarili.. Buti n lng anjan ang anak ko na handang magpatawa at handang maglambing sa oras ng kalungkutan ko.. at mabuti n lng din at anjan ang asawa ko na nagpapalakas ng loob ko, pati na din ang kapatid ko na lagi ding nasa tabi ko lalo sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. I never lost my faith ika nga.

Third day...(ng pagkaduling) I visited a neurologist this time,and I underwent MRI. Praying, hoping, and really putting it on a punctuation na im not sick, im well and im gonna be ok in 6 weeks... And then the news...Im well, well enough to jump out and say yahooooo! Thanks to him di nya ako binibigyan ng mga bagay na di ko kaya. Very much lucky, kya nga im pushing myself to the limits. Alam naman ng lahat yon. Hindi lang po tlga maiiwasan na hindi magkasakit ang isang tao. yon ngang mga makina nasisira, at naaayos din.. tayo pa kyang mga tao? Mahina sa virus, mahina sa bacteria at higit sa lahat kelangan ng mga komplikadong bagay pra lang maintindihan ang pinakasimpleng bagay sa mundo.. un ay ang pagmamahal sa sarili at ang pag respeto dito. Sabi nga nila "mahalin mo muna ang sarili mo bago ka magmahal ng iba" dahil kung pano mo irespeto ang sarili mo ay yon din ang magiging pag respeto mo sa kapwa mo.

I have been suffering from double vision since monday, June 8, 2009, coincidentally bday ng kapatid kong namayapa nong 2005. Sorry kuya di agad kita nabati pag gising ko sa umaga... pero alam ko nman na hindi mo yon binigay sakin dahil di k nman nagbibigay ng mga ganyan.. t shirt pwede pa.. pero ung pagkaduling... never.. hehehehehehehe. Nwei.. happy happy birthday sa yo, sana eh masaya ka jan.  And alam ko nman na masaya ka din pra sa min na naiwan dito. Sige at medyo nangungulit na si AJ. maglalaro daw kami ng lego.

An affair is devastating to almost everyone involved. It's one of the most painful experiences that the jilted partner will ever be forced to endure. It almost always causes them to suffer acute depression. With all these sadness, why do so many people do it?

Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week -- your friends, your co-workers. There is usually a dissatisfaction with the relationship that stems from the failure to meet an important emotional need. Then someone ( a friend or co-worker) tend to provide what the partner failed to fill. Although sometimes a person does not intend to meet the emotional needs of another person and was just being friendly and carries on conversation the way he would with almost anyone, somehow the other person feels a little closer each time.

There are some who feel that those feelings of "love" are a signal from God to abandon the present relationship and rush into this new "relationship". But it's no signal from God. Instead, it's a way our emotions mindlessly encourage us to spend more time with those who meet our emotional need.

It's true that in some relationships a partner will complain about an unmet need, and find their complaint met with anger and recriminations. When there seems to be no hope for satisfaction, these people find themselves particularly vulnerable to an affair. After all, the partner had a chance to meet the need but refused. So why not have an affair?

But in some cases, a partner is given no opportunity to learn to meet the unmet need because it is not clearly revealed. They do not communicate.

Sex is actually not the driving force in most affairs -- it is conversation and affection. What they appreciate the most about the relationship is the love and acceptance that is communicated in their conversation. But sex is usually the inevitable outcome. And since sex works best with great conversation and affection, the sex is also great. Once sex is added to the mix, they both become addicted to the relationship.

The unsuspecting jilted partner usually senses a problem when an affair begins. When the partners are together, an emotional distance usually prevails. Intimacy becomes so bad that a separation is requested to "sort things out".

Why would anyone need to be alone to sort things out?

Since an affair usually creates emotional distance between partners, they begin to describe their increasing dissatisfaction in their relationship. They talk about how incompatible they are. Then they tend to see how compatible they are with the other person and that they are perfect for each other.

Affairs are almost always with friends and co-workers. That's because the people you work with and those you spend leisure time with are usually in the best position to meet your emotional needs. But in the world of internet, total strangers can also meet your need for conversation so effectively.

Do you and your partner talk as much and as deeply as you talk to your friends, co-workers or the people on the internet?

We are all wired for affairs. People tend to fall in love with whoever they spend the most enjoyable time with.  The only people who are exempt are those who are utterly incapable of meeting someone else's emotional needs.

There is no emotion more powerful than romantic love. And people have abandoned their careers, children, security and religion because of it.

What's going on that causes someone to lose all of his perspective in life?  It's nothing more than a feeling of love. That feeling is one of the most important feelings we have and we will do anything to have it and keep it.

12:03am. my eyes were set to the scattered folders at my desk...pink, white, blue, yellow. daming kulay parang pang syuding ang mga letseng folder na ito. pero sabi  nga ng mga pana (indians) "what to do?" yan ang napili nila eh. hehehehe. I was really feeling lucky when i joined the company. its a rare opportunity especially i dont have any experiences on such. hay buhay tlga oo swerte swerte lang din tlga. pero hindi naman tlga yan ang topic ko ngayon eh. kasi naikwento ko na yan tagal na.

yon nga nagkalat ang mga folders sa desk ko. im waiting for my hands to arranged them back and put them to where they belong kaso tinatamad ako at naisipan kong magsulat ng ewan kung merong wentang blog. basta lang gusto kong magsulat. kanina halos di na ako makita sa taas ng mga folder sa desk ko, pero ito at 2 hours pa lang ako dito sa upuan ko e tapos ko na lahat. pero lam nyo ba..nong unang salta ko dito at isa lang akong observer sa mga ginagawa nila. i remembered clearly, these people cannot finished a file in an hour. ewan ko ba kung sadya nila or talagang mga utak pulboron lang itong mga kasamahan ko dito. (ako lang ang nag iisang pinoy dito, karamihan pana, patan at sri lankan). one time, there is this guy, he's working on a file. i cant imagine kung pano syang pumipitiks pero lam nyo ba, isang araw nyang ginawa ang file. pero kung ako ang gumawa non.,. its less than 10mins for me. ewan ko pero yon tlga ang judgement ko sa ginawa nya. im so goddam impressed kung pano nya ginawa ng isang araw yon. isa syang bathala ng pitiks. ang lord ng katamaran. hehehehe. anyway, kalimutan na natin yan. wla nmang wentang pag usapan eh.

ano nga ba ang pwdeng pag usapan? kung hindi nman kasi love e sex. .at kung hindi sex e love. hehehehe.. how bout sports? well, kung sports isa lang ang naiisip kung pangalan.. michael jordan. period. need not to tell you why. ano pa? movies? well, dahil sa andito ako sa isang sulok ng mundo na ewan ko ba kung bakit wla akong makitang sandamakmak na pirated movies sa mga kanto kanto. hehehe kya ayan tuloy nawala na ako sa sirkulasyon ng mga movie critics. ang layo na ng distansya ko. di ko na alam kung ano ang pinakabagong movie ngayon. at kund di ako magkakamali ang pinakabagong movie na pinanood ko e ung pirates of the carribbean dead man's chest.. pirated at not clear copy pa., bad trip tlga oo. heheheh. sana lang me isang bathala ng pirated movie na magdala sa kin ng mga clear copy ng pinakabagong pelikula ngayon. naku bibilhin ko tlga khit tag 20dhs ang isa. ganun ako ka desperado sa pelikula. un lang kasi ang libangan maliban sa pag alaga sa baby boy kung makulit. he's 2yrs and he's such a lovely kid. malambing, matalino, mabilis matuto at tlaga namang nakakatuwa. hindi dahil sa anak ko sya pero u can judge it. compare my son sa iba and u will find out na totoo ang sinasabi ko. at 2 yrs kasi he can recite a complete poem, hindi lang isa pero mga 3 yata. meron syang i wish i were a fish, enzy wenzy spider, at ewan ko ung isa kung anong pamagat. heheheh. marunong na din syang kumanta. at ang prayers nya before and after meal e kabisado na nya.. he actually leads the prayer all the time. nagagalit sya pag inunahan mo sya magdasal. at sa gabi he still manages to pray khit pikit na ang mga mata sa antok hehehehe. "father, son, holy pirit.. amen.. jesus i love you and i believe your love for me" yan ang prayer nya pag matutulog na sya. kakatuwa tlga. hayy sana lang maging good boy sya lagi lalo pag malaki na sya. i want him to be better than me. sana nga he can be the best that  his dad couldnt.  un lang.. antok na din ako.. prang nag aanyaya ang sofa dito sa tabi ng desk ko ah. hehehehehe.. sya sige tulog muna ako.